Column 31: The New Breed
Two bands elbow their way to the front of the line.

Getting tired of that ol' indie-rock shtick?

You know what I'm talking about -- all those bands that have cornered the market on jangling guitars, warbly off-key vocals, shuffling snare rhythms and bad posture? The bands whose songs are studies in introspective navel-gazing by guys who can't seem to get over their last break-up?

I am. Seems like we've been hearing that same ol' song way too much lately. Even yours truly -- Mr. Indie Rock himself -- is beginning to yawn and nod off during long sessions with his i-Pod. Really, how many low-fi, low-energy, introspective, pseudo-folk, sons/daughters of Pavement, REM and Sebadoh can a person stand before blacking out on an overdose of ennui?

As cheesy as this sounds, sometimes you just wanna rock. And this past week I saw a couple bands that did just that.

It started Thursday night. Ladyfinger was at O'Leaver's playing at their coming out party of sorts, even though they've been out for quite a while. Too bad I didn't get to see much of it. Oh, I heard it all, the whole blistering set, but I couldn't see it because the place was stacked from "stage" to railing with people standing to watch the sweat fly. It was a crush mob, the type of O'Leaver's crowd usually reserved for a Simon Joyner or Tim Kasher show.

And why not? Word is out that these guys are the next "it" band. Consisting of Ethan Jones, bass/vocals; Pat Oakes, drums; Chris Machmuller, guitar/vocals, and Jamie Massey, guitar, Ladyfinger's style is pure throwback, buzzing and howling to a beat that's distinctly mid-'90s agro-punk a la Ritual Device; ratcheted minor-key buzzsaw guitars bordering on metal planted atop a throbbing bass line. Listening to Ladyfinger is like putting a couple feral cats in a cardboard box, shaking it up, and dropping it down a tumbling flight of stairs. Once it comes to a stop, open up the carton and put your hand inside. Static aggression. Anger and energy. Simultaneously frightening and exhilarating, but with a beat.

Sure, you won't remember a single melody when you get home and take out your ear-plugs, but you'll remember it was tight; you'll remember they were good. Repeated listenings are a must if you want to figure out what in hell it all means. I don't know how they'll do it in the studio. Rumors have circulated for months that labels are sniffing around these guys. Thursday night's crowd will keep the rumors buzzing.

Then there's The Philharmonic -- a company of hard-rocking degenerates featuring guitarist/vocalist and chief pouter Chris Esterbrooks (or just "Brooks" for short) and once-handsome bassist Marc Phillips -- both formerly of the rockabilly-gospel-firebreathing-freak-out act The Carsinogents. Add second guitarist Mike Saklar (No Blood Orphan, Mal Madrigal, ex-Ravine), and out-of-control drummer Jeff Heater (ex-Men of Porn, whether he likes it or not) and you've got yourself a bomb ready to explode.

I've heard them described as a cross between The Wipers and The Hot Snakes -- and still don't know what that means. I liken them to edgy '70s guitar punk meets edgy '70s bombastic heavy metal -- brash, fast and ready to pose for the cameras, boot-up-your-ass music without a hint of ennui. Brooks, held back as a sideman for years with the Carsinogents, lets it all hang out with classic rock 'n' roll panache (Spitting out a burning cigarette before screaming into the mic; doing the ol' stand-on-the-chair-during-my-solo routine).

Like Ladyfinger, don't ask me what their songs were about. I don't know, and I don't care. And neither did a standing crowd at The 49'r Saturday night that looked like they were ready to pounce when Brooks said there was no more.

As the scene begins to tire of all the flaccid indie posing, these two bands stand at the forefront of where it's all headed next. Don't get in their way.

Column 29: The Passion of the Fratt
Homer's new leader does it for the love of it...

Rick Galusha's announcement that he was stepping down from the helm of Homer's Records came as no surprise. Galusha sounded less than upbeat last year when he and I took part in a panel discussion for a UNO business class for entrepreneurs. Maybe he was distracted since the panel took place smack-dab in the middle of his heated race for Register of Deeds, which he would eventually lose. Regardless, that day in class Galusha seemed to make the point that rock and roll was a young man's game, not something that someone his age should be involved with. It's an opinion that I happen to disagree with, but hey, everyone's got a point of view.

Enter young Mike Fratt (only 46), who's been playing the role of second banana at Homer's for years. Now with his ascension to top banana (Fratt says he still doesn't have a title and isn't in any hurry to get one, thank you), the boy wonder has a lot to figure out. Like how he's going to keep Homer's afloat amidst market-share killers like music downloading and file sharing, big-ass box stores like Wal-Mart, Best Buy and Target, and the ever-fickle whims of the Omaha music-buying public.

Fratt says no prob on all three. In fact, despite all those forecasts of doom and gloom for the music retail industry, he's confident sales will continue to come up roses through the end of the decade.

The operative word there is "continue." Because in spite of all the hype about downloading eating up the music retail biz, Homer's revenues have been on an upswing for the past 18 months. Fratt says the chain's combined six-store sales are up over last year, and that it's a trend that's being seen throughout the independent music retail sector. While the industry as a whole is down 8 percent so far for the year, Homer's sales were up by single digits (Fratt wouldn't say how many).

It's more evidence of how the big box stores have seen their dominance slip to indie chains and online sales. As a result, they're cutting back on their selection. Best Buy, for example, dropped its CD selection from 15,000 titles just a few years ago to only 5,000. Add to that the fact that most people who go to box stores to pick up the latest chart-topping Britney crapola at loss-leader prices leave with only one CD; while Homer's shoppers tend to pick up a couple more items before heading to the check outs.

Selection didn't matter as much a few years ago. The big money was in the mega-sellers. But those mega-sellers are becoming fewer and fewer these days. In 2000, only 100 CDs sold more than a million copies in a single year. Last year that number dropped to 60. "People are finding that these big, hyped records are bullshit, and that there are a lot cooler records out there," Fratt said. Records that you're not going to find at Wal-Mart.

Yeah, but what about i-Tunes and downloading? Fratt, whose been involved in music retailing since '75, says the Internet and satellite radio are helping -- not hurting -- his business because they're exposing listeners to more music than ever before. "That's influencing sales," he said. "All those predictions that Internet web stores and file sharing would wipe us out haven't come close to reality."

If anything, Fratt says the web has hurt the box stores more than the small indie retailers. And Homer's is making money with its own internet ventures, including a web store and sales efforts in conjunction with Amazon, eBay and Django's.

Still, Fratt is quick to point out that there's never been a lot of money in the music retail business, even at the head office. What keeps him going is what got him started way back when he was a stock boy at Brandeis in Crossroads. "I kept going down to Musicland on my breaks and bugging them for a job, until they finally broke down and hired me," he said. "I fell in love with it. People that come to work here have a passion for music and want to share it with every customer that walks through the door."

Column 28: An Irish Rover Returns
Finding a lump of gold in a pot of cheese.

There was no column here last week because, well, I wasn't in the country. Instead, I was in Ireland for a week's worth of boiled potatoes and cold Guinness, crumbling castles and jagged cliffs, bad hotels and tacky gift shops, and of course, lots and lots of St. Patrick's' Day-style music.

Other than the Cliffs of Moher, it was the pubs and music that made spending 35 hours in cramped jets and crowded airports worthwhile. You go to the pubs in Ireland expecting to hear the same traditional music that we've all come to know from Lucky Charms commercials and reruns of "The Quiet Man." I never deluded myself into thinking that I was going to find Ireland's hidden underground indie-rock scene.

Instead, I was content to find comfortable pubs and drown my nights in pints of Kilkenny, Guinness and Smithwicks (pronounced "Smitticks" -- you best not pronounce the "w" if you want a decent pour). If you get there at 8:30, the place will be nearly empty, with only a handful of locals staring up at the live horse races televised from Newton Abbot, Folkestone or Naas and bet on at Ladbrokes booking parlors located almost everywhere. But by 9:30 -- the unofficial starting time for all bands -- the pubs are crush-full with camera-toting tourists looking for a "slice of real Ireland," and a smattering of locals whose bane in life is putting up with camera-toting tourists.

On the first four days, there weren't any surprises. The music sounded pretty much like what you'd hear if you venture out to our versions of The Dubliner or The Brazen Head on a live music night. Irish bands are essentially cover bands playing songs handed down from generation to generation, with the most popular ones eventually making it over to the states where they're played every St. Patrick's day for the beer-soaked masses. The tourists not only want -- they expect to hear "Wild Rover" with its 4-beat clap-along or "Rye Whiskey" ("I'm a rambler / I'm a gambler / I'm a long way from home…") or, god help me, "Danny Boy," which is blared through every gift shop and Blarney Wollen Mills outlet from County Wicklow to County Clare.

And so it was in Dublin and Kinsale, groggy nights filled with drunken group singing and annoying banter from brogue-inflicted band leaders who know just what to say to please the needy tourists, all of whom are proud, chest-thumping great-grandsons of Ireland whose own brogues were worn away generations ago, replaced with nasal Boston accents.

Then, six days into the trip, came Killarney. As the evening began, my companion and I, worn down from the past five days of reveling, decided to stick close to the hotel and stumbled into a hole-in-the-wall pub called Paddy Murphy's. Sitting in a corner right behind the front door was the night's entertainers -- a twenty-something accordionist, a banjo player who looked like his father and a guitarist/vocalist that was probably an uncle. Unlike the elaborate set-ups from prior evenings, there was no sound system or lights, just the trio sitting behind a table with three jars of Guinness.

Instead of playing the usual crowd-beloved standards, the lads performed traditional instrumentals I'd never heard before. How do I know they were traditionals? By the look on the face of the old man -- a local you could tell by his clothing -- who sat across from them and grinned with every satisfying keystroke and banjo pluck. It wasn't until the third song that Uncle Guitarist took voice, and what a sad, lonely voice he had. His moan was drawn in layers of sorrow, singing stories of famine deaths, lost wars and broken hearts. There were no happy sing-a-longs; no clapping, unicorns or laughter. Ireland's true song is one long, tragic dirge, a testimony to suffering and survival even if it means leaving your home behind forever.

The next night, also in Killarney, we found the usual barn full of drunken, happy tourists pleading for their "Whiskey in a Jar." We snuck out early and found Courtney's, a room so dark with 18th Century lighting that you could barely see your pint in front of your face. This time it was a banjo, guitar and harp -- no vocals -- playing intricate instrumentals augmented by chiming, syncopated plucking. Called Sliba Luchra (I'm sure my spelling is wrong, thanks to Guinness), the young trio's arrangements were slightly askew, purposely odd and strangely sad and yearning. It was like listening to a Celtic version of Tristeza or Tortoise. I hadn't found Ireland's indie rock. I had found something better.

Two days later I was back home, with "Danny Boy" and Guinness still ringing in my head, but thinking about Paddy's and Courtney's and the music I left behind.

Catching up: The return of Cursive; Homer's new management; Wide Awake breaks 250k… – June 7, 2005 –

So I'm back from Ireland. I'll fill you in on the "music scene" tomorrow when I put this week's column online and talk more about the trip. I can tell you right now that the worst part was traveling there and back. Avoid Aire Lingus at all costs. Fly American or British Airways, it's worth the extra jack. Believe me. Coming back was the worst overall flight experience I've had in a long time (I have had worse, though).

Incidentally, I would have gone to the Neko Case show last night had I known it was a no-smoking show. As always is the case when you're in a jetliner for 10 hours, I picked up a chest-cold thing and didn't want to make it worse. There's no smoking allowed at any bars and restaurants in Ireland. The ban doesn't seem to have had an impact on their bar scene whatsoever. The flight did give me a chance to write a dozen or so CD reviews, which will be going online over the next few days, so watch the reviews page and the matrix for updates.

What happened while I was gone?

-- The hiatus is over. Saddle Creek confirmed rumors of the much-anticipated second-coming of Cursive. The label says the band will start working on new music later this summer, with possibly a new record mid-late next year in terms of release date. Does that mean the inevitable hiatus (or end) for The Good Life? Well, maybe The Good Life as we've known it…

-- I'm told Homer's has had a change in management, with Rick Galusha announcing his departure and Mike Fratt taking his place as the company's president. Who knows what it'll mean. I'm trying to track Fratt down to see. The story of Homer's and its continued survival in the now-viscious, cut-throat business of music retailing needs to be told along with Fratt's plans for continued survival (and prosperity?).

-- Before I left, Fratt e-mailed to tell me that Bright Eyes' I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning sales have surpassed 250,000, passing Lifted… by many thousand. Saddle Creek confirmed this. I figured Wide Awake would lift Lifted's sales. It has, but not to the degree I expected. At this pace, Wide Awake is on target to be the first Creek CD to go gold… Digital Ash sales are at 176,000, by the way...

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On hiatus; a glance at the week ahead... – May 27, 2005 –

Lazy-i will be on hiatus for the next few days as I head to over the water for some well-deserved R&R. In addition to sleeping, I'll be spending the plane-ride over catching up on reviews, so you'll have that to look forward to when I get back, as well as my take on Dublin's edgy music scene.

So what am I going to miss while I'm gone? All the hot action is on Sunday night:
-- Kasabian w/Madaction and Rock 'n' Roll Soldiers at Sokol Underground. This could wind up being a classic "I-was-there" type of show, depending on what happens to Kasabian in the next couple years. $10adv/$12 DOS.
-- No Things w/Rocket FM and Haywood Yard at Duffy's in Lincoln. No Things is the new project by former Mercy Rule drummer Ron Albertson and Opium Taylor's Pat Nature. After getting booted from The Liars (a band they formed), the duo rebounded with this new ensemble. This is a must-see show. $5.
-- Anonymous American w/Sarah Bench and the Robbers at Shag. Shag is the former Funnybone comedy club which, like all business in that area, is doomed to extinction after the dreaded overpass is completed. $5, 7 p.m.

What else?

-- Next Thursday is Pinback at Sokol Underground with Pit er Pat. $12.
-- Next Friday is Little Brazil w/Clair de Lune and Fromanhole, also at Sokol Underground. $7.
-- And then there's a handful of shows at O'Leaver's by bands I don't know, starting tonight with io, The Atlas and Life After Laserdisc; tomorrow with Red #9; next Thursday with Valient Thorr and Rent Money Big, and next Friday with VCR, Life After Laserdisc and Fizzle Like a Flood. O'Leaver's shows are somewhat tentative in nature, so don't blame me if you show up and the bands cancel or you're stuck listening to bad local metal.

See you when I see you…

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Kasabian's David St. Hubbins... Mary Timony tonight – May 26, 2005 –

My profile of Kasabian went online this morning (read it here). I had about five minutes to talk to the band's guitarist/keyboardist/songwriter Serge Pizzorno, and considering his answers to my questions, that's all I really needed. It was like interviewing David St. Hubbins of Spinal Tap. Anyway, it's my sincere belief that Kasabian actually could be the next big thing out of bonny ol' England. Their single, "Club Foot," is a mammoth hit over there, and they're selling out arenas throughout Europe. It could be awhile, however, until that reach that status in the colonies... if ever.

Tonight is Mary Timony at Sokol Underground with Medications (the other touring band that includes her drummer/collaborator Devin Ocampo) and Omaha's own Bombardment Society. Can Timony pull it off with just her and Ocampo performing as a two-piece? We'll see. I asked he why she didn't have a full band and pointed out that two-piece outfits are becoming more common these days (The White Stripes and Black Keys come to mind). She said she hadn't thought about it, but yeah, I guess there are a lot of two-piece bands. Why is that? "I think it's just economical. It makes going on tour easy. Actually, I don't know why it is." The show is $8 and starts at 9.

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Column 27 -- VH1 raids Omaha? – May 25, 2005 –

When I say VH1 has talked to almost everyone in town, I mean everyone. You name it, and Eli Lehrer has talked to it. Like I say below, it's a departure from the usual national media coverage: A reporter blows into town, hangs out at the Saddle Creek offices, goes to a Saddle Creek show, goes to The Brothers with Saddle Creek staff, and then leaves. A month later the writer's definitive article about "the Omaha scene" comes out, and it doesn't mention a single band that's not affiliated with the label. I can't say I blame the writer -- it's the Creek bands that will be playing at Webster Hall or North Six in the coming months, not The Monroes or Kite Pilot. Still, when you say you're covering the Omaha scene, you gotta go beyond Creek, or else you're really just covering Creek. VH1 sounds like it's going beyond Creek, but something tells me all the hoopla's for nothing...

Look for an interview/profile of Kasabian online tomorrow morning.

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Mary Timony interview; Slowdown announced; The Good Life tonight… – May 24, 2005 –

Just placed on the site, an interview with ex-Helium frontwoman Mary Timony (read it here). Timony talks about Matador's round-about way of ending its relationship with her, and how she picked herself up and moved on. She can count herself among those who were at that label during its mid-'90s golden years, back when you bought whatever the label put out regardless of whether you even heard of the band (a status that Saddle Creek is approaching). These days Matador is a shadow of its former self. Sure, they still have Yo La Tengo, Stephen Malkmus and Interpol, but after that it gets rather spotty. I haven't sought out a Matador CD since Interpol's debut back in 2002.

There weren't too many out-takes from the interview that didn't make the story. Timony did talk about growing up in D.C. and following the local hardcore/punk scene and how it influenced her music. "I went to a lot of punk shows, I hung out at The Wilson Center," she said. "I was aware of the bands and was a fan of the bands. They were so powerful; it was definitely a big influence in playing music and getting started. Then I was in a band called Autoclave that put out a record on Dischord in '91." In fact, Timony said she first met Fugazi's Brendan Canty (who produced her new CD, Ex Hex) when he recorded Autoclave.

I threw this story online early this week because Timony is playing Sokol Underground this Thursday, and because I'm putting the Kasabian piece up tomorrow. It's turning out to be a busy week. Yesterday the Omaha World-Herald reported (in this story) that the label's Slowdown project is now slated for a downtown location -- from Webster to Cuming between 13th and 14th streets, just as rumored last fall. Unlike the original, doomed Metcalf Park Slowdown project, this one is more than just a music hall, offices and bar. The latest proposal includes a two-screen art-house movie theater, a pizza joint and condos, with a targeted completion date of June 2006. An hour after the story broke Saddle Creek's Jason Kulbel e-mailed to say that despite the World-Herald report nothing about the project was definite. "Still many details to be worked out and the city has not accepted our proposal as of yet, but the cat is fully out of the bag," he said.

And speaking of Saddle Creek, tonight is the victorious return of The Good Life to Sokol Underground in what has been said to be one of their last local gigs for a long, long time. Opening the show are tourmates Make Believe and Zykos. I foresee a sell-out.

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Live Reviews: Last night and the night before… – May 22, 2005 –

Last night was sort of a second coming for Criteria. Things change once you get signed to Saddle Creek. People take notice. You're no longer "just another Omaha band (that's not on Saddle Creek)." You've joined a fraternity of sorts, and with it comes the spoils in the form of larger crowds. Though The Nein were the touring band, it was Criteria that was the headliner and who most of the 260-something paid to see. And the band did not disappoint them.

I took my position along the wall adjacent to stage right, but this time it was somewhat crowded over there and I found myself further behind the stage than usual, providing a view mostly of the band's corduroys and their adoring crowd leaning forward and upward. By god, there were a lot of them singing right along to songs off En Garde. And the young girls, well… Indie music is the exception to the old crow that rock attracts only angry, disassociated teen-aged guys. There's always a lot of girls at indie shows, especially Creek shows, maybe because there's a sizable percentage among the radio rock guys who think indie/Creek is waaay to fey for them to listen to. That's their loss.

So far back was I behind the stage that the vocals got lost in the roar -- what do you expect when you're on the backside of the speakers? After the first couple songs, the guy next to me laughed and said, "These guys obviously grew up listening to the Scorpions." When Criteria frontman Stephen Pedersen said he was "really stoked" about everyone coming out, I turned and said, "It's the '80s all over again." My sideman left halfway through the set -- I guess it wasn't his thing. But for the most part, he was the exception to the rule. Criteria fills a void in the Creek cadre of bands. Other than maybe Beep Beep, no other act on the label is trying to burn the house down with their guitars -- a characteristic that Cursive also used to have, and maybe still do, if they ever return from their hiatus.

The sound was much better in front of the stage (obviously), and it was in the back of the room that I noticed the small contingency of people in their 50s (and maybe 60s) who I assume were representatives of the Kutak Rock law firm checking out the wares of their prodigal son, thinking to themselves how far away smoky Sokol Underground is from the lacquered oak and leather chairs of their boardrooms. Were they wondering if they'd made a mistake by taking the path less traveled by? We'll never know.

Shifting gears… It was true what I heard about Bunnygrunt. I actually found out that afternoon when someone e-mailed me that they were indeed going to play at O'Leaver's Friday night. So I made it out and it was pleasingly crowded. Low-fi poppers Grape Soda was up first, consisting I'm told of some folks who work down at The Antiquarium. It was more folk rock than indie rock and for some reason reminded me of Celtic music, though I'm sure there was no reason for it. I asked a guy next to me if it sounded Irish and he said, "Yeah..., sort of." It was sloppy fun.

Next was Lonnie Methe's group Mancini's Angels. I've seen Methe a number of times as has anyone who has seen Simon Joyner over the years -- he's the guy in the sweater playing the violin with his back to the audience. He's also a member of Omaha avant-guard ensemble Naturaliste, with Chris Fischer, Simon and Josephine Joyner and Chris Deden, among others. That group has a reputation for creating low-fi art/noise pieces, summed up on a full-length released by (Omaha's most unknown label) Public Eyesore, which I haven't heard. Mancini's Angels was far from avant-garde, instead bordering (again) on folk rock, with Methe handling the lead vocals, and quite well, I might add. Underlying every song were layers of structured dissonance that would drive any pop-music lover up a wall. In that context, it was arty and probably lost on the crowd that came to hear Bunnygrunt's three-chord "twee-punk." Still, if you looked, you found some interesting stuff hidden among the feedback. Methe told me after the show that he's headed to Austin to live in mid-June.

Up next was a band that I thought was Bunnygrunt -- three girls and a guy drummer playing the style of indie-pop that Bunnygrunt plays. The flat, female vocals even reminded me of the band. Turns out it wasn't Bunnygrunt at all, but a side project by one of its members. So as I was about to leave, on came Bunnygrunt, sounding much more confident and aggressive than the previous, unknown-named band. The trio included two guys and a girl drummer, and the vocals were mostly dominated by the men -- something I don't remember from the Bunnygrunt of the past. Despite the crowd yelling out song names, the band didn't play any of their "hits" during their disappointingly short 15- or 20-minute micro-set. Maybe next time (if there is a next time).

Lots of stuff coming this week, and the sched looks this way -- Mary Timony profile/interview online Tuesday; Kasabian profile/interview online Wednesday, and the column online Thursday -- if I get all of it written…

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Bunnygrunt tonight? Criteria tomorrow. Some Internet headlines... – May 20, 2005 –

According to a mass e-mail sent to me and other members of Omaha's elite music media by sometimes Simon Joyner sideman Lonnie Methe, St. Louis cuddlecore legends Bunnygrunt is playing at O'Leaver's tonight with Methe's own Mancini's Angels and Grape Soda. I've been unable to confirm this with anyone including a contact at O'Leaver's, who says scheduling is in disarray there these days, what with all that volleyball going on. Bunnygrunt doesn't have a website. According to AMC, the band broke up in 1998. I know them from having seen them play with Frontier Trust sometime in the '90s, and from their single, "Macho Beagle," w/"Cry," a cover of The Raspberries classic. I hope this is happening, and I'll be down at O'Leaver's to find out.

Tomorrow night, of course, is Saddle Creek Records band Criteria with The Nein and The Philharmonic at Sokol Underground. Meanwhile, Fromanhole is hosting a CD release show at The 49'r with No Blood Orphan.

A couple headlines of interest:

-- The Bright Eyes/Faint saga continues with more of the same. This review of their Toronto show again goes out of its way to point out that The Faint is crushing BE in the popularity contest, at least with the critics. "All in all, a good show, but in the end Bright Eyes couldn't muster up enough energy or enthusiasm to claim best band of the night." Ouch. Says that Oberst rolled out a new song during the set -- wonder how they did the video for that one...

-- Rilo Kiley now appears to be using their defection from Saddle Creek Records as a publicity peg on their tour. In this item in yesterday's Boston Globe, frontwoman Jenny Lewis talks about "struggling" with the concept of indie vs. major "every day." "People make such a big deal about indie vs. major. But if you're making the same music, what's the fuss about reaching more people?" She then goes on to say that the band wanted to do things that Creek wasn't comfortable with... involving radio. Who knows what that means, although I would bet it has to do with Clear Channel.

-- Meanwhile, in this Detroit Metro Times story, Neva Dinova's Jake Bellows talks about a couple things concerning Jenny Lewis that I'm sure she's not comfortable with. "When we heard that she was a child star, we found Foxfire with her and Angelina Jolie. In it there’s this topless scene where all the girls are hanging out together, burning each other and touching their tits, and Jenny is the only one of the five girls who doesn't take her shirt off. I was like, 'This is fucking bullshit. I rented this movie because I thought I was going to see your naked tits.' I talked to her about it and the first thing I said was, 'We were all disappointed.'" Classic.

-- Finally, Tim Kasher talks about his budding screenwriting career in this Omaha World-Herald story. Kasher says he's working a play that that he hopes to score with music from The Good Life, and then goes on to say he and members of Cursive plan to work on a new album.

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Column 26 -- Radio Days; Kite Pilot, Simon Joyner tonight; Bunnygrunt tomorrow? – May 19, 2005 –

There was a ton more info gleaned from my interview with Sophia John that wasn't included in this week's column. So much, in fact, I'm toying with the idea of doing a second part next week that discusses the station's advertising and other nifty things. As stated below, I noticed the programming changes just driving around, but another indicator was talking to one of the guys who puts together New Day Rising, the indie show on The River late Sunday nights. I asked if he was going to play the new Kasabian. "Nope, it's on The River's regular playlist now. We don't play stuff that they're already playing." Makes sense. How 'bout Tegan & Sara? "Same story." Okay, how 'bout the new Beck? "Same thing." Etc...

There's a pretty good show tonight at Ted & Wally's: Everyone's favorite local folk legend Simon Joyner is doing a solo set with everyone's favorite local neu-wave-esque, trumpet=powered pop-fun dynamos Kite Pilot, who will be playing stuff from their forthcoming LP. I've never seen a show down there before, but I hear it can be a blast. It starts around 10:30 and costs $5.

Also, I received an e-mail last night saying that legendary St. Louis cuddlecore band Bunnygrunt is sneaking into O'Leaver's tomorrow night. I will investigate further and report my findings in tomorrow's edition...

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Criteria talks Creek and Kutak Rock, and here's the out-takes… – May 18, 2005 –

I just placed online, an interview with Criteria's Stephen Pedersen (read it here). Pedersen talks about leaving nationally respected law firm Kutak Rock where he's an attorney, to pursue his rock 'n' roll dream with the help from his friends at Saddle Creek Records. The word limit for The Reader article was 1,000. Here's some out-takes from the 2-hour interview that didn't make the cut:

There's already those who think Criteria could rise to become the second most popular band at Saddle Creek. Pedersen pooh-poohs those comments. "Every band on that label has earned it from years of touring and focusing full-time on music for the greater part of the past decade. I kind of dilly-dallied."

He said he had no idea what he and the former members of White Octave are going to do with their last album, Menergy, now that they've acquired the rights to the CD from Initial Records. "I would be surprised if there was a label that wanted to release it," he said. Interestingly, White Octave also owns the masters to their first record, released on Deep Elm who only had a five-year licensing agreement on the recording, which has since expired.

Pedersen said Saddle Creek's 50/50 royalties split is a rarity in the business. "It's about as pure of a partnership as you're going to get in the music business," he said. "While the front-end isn't that great, the back end is incredible. It's the difference between an 11 to 15 percent royalty and a 50 percent royalty. If you're successful, the payoff for record sales is fabulous, but that wasn't the reason I wanted to be on Saddle Creek.

"These are my friends, the people that kept me going. I've known them half my life. And it's also a great label with an amazing reputation that's well deserved. I like their business model and can totally trust them."

It was here that Pedersen referred to the famous Spoon/Ron Laffitte debacle that was immortalized in Spoon's Saddle Creek-released single "The Agony of Laffitte" b/w "Laffitte Don't Fail Me Now."

"The only reason to go to a major is to raid their coffers," Pedersen said. "If there was a $5 million non recuperable advance dangled in front of me, that may have made things difficult."

So how does one get signed to Creek these days? Pedersen said there are two possible routes. "Either Robb, Jason and the people at the office love the record and want to put it out, or you appeal to the greater community of bands -- you get Todd and Joel from the Faint and Conor and Tim and Matt behind you. The artists in effect are like an appellant court when the district court denies you. Luckily it never came to that."

Pedersen discussed the process of writing his music. I've always thought that he must have consciously gone out of his way to create the stuttering, waltzy lope that's indicative (to me, anyway) of their sound. "I don't know why I do that," Pedersen said. "The music wouldn't be talked about if it was in 4/4. When I was writing En Garde, it was the first time I had the chance to make the beats, but I don't know where I got the beats."

Like En Garde, much of When We Break was recorded in Pedersen's dingy basement studio. There is nothing fancy about the set up, you almost expect the guitarist to be leaning against a washer/dryer while recording a solo. Amidst all the sound equipment is a bicep/curl bar and some weights, I guess to get pumped up with before rolling tape. Though the guitars and vocals were recorded there, the drums and bass were tracked at Presto! Studios in Lincoln. AJ Mogis did the mix.

"The reason the record sounds the way it sounds is AJ," Pedersen said. "He is the engineer and producer and the wizard behind its massiveness. It doesn't sound like a record that was, in a large part, made in a basement and that's entirely because of AJ. He just captures sound, and is also an incredible musician. The guy shreds. I'm, like, the worst guitar player in the band."

When We Break wasn't the first name chosen for the album. "We were thinking of calling it Danish Soul or Rock and Roll Miracle," Pedersen said, clearly joking. "There were some more serious considerations, too, like From the Dead Center, and Touché -- sort of a response to En Garde. But that would have been too cute. When We Break is a lyric from one of the songs. It's referring both to when a band breaks and gets popular, and as humans when you get hurt."

Which brings us to the album's "meaning."

"Lyrically, it's not about a break-up, it's about a lot of things," Pedersen said. "At the end of the day, I'm singing for myself, and if other people get meaning out of it, that's great, but I don't try to define my words."

Just as important, he said, are the songs' sound and tone. "The delivery can convey as much or more meaning than the words, and I'm all about delivery," he said. "I'm a defacto songwriter because I write a lot of songs, but I don't see myself as a songwriter."

He said he doesn't write lyrics down, or anything else for that matter. Everything is composed in his head, from the beat to the guitar to the vocals.

"I don't quite understand it," he said. "It's just a combination of having a Danish father and a Sicilian mother. You have a very strict, structured, disciplined side of you and a very passionate, emotional just sort of a very-lucky-to-be-alive side of you. And that's where the music comes from."

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Catching up; Le Beat, Mal Madrigal, Son, Ambulance tonight… – May 17, 2005 –

The reason why there was no update yesterday is because I was busy pulling together all the content for this coming week. Among it, look for an in-depth story with Criteria tomorrow morning. Frontman Stephen Pedersen talks about his decision to drop the lawyer biz and take on rock 'n' roll full-time. Methinks you'll enjoy it. Then on Thursday, look for this week's column focused on my interview with The River's Sophia John about the station's gradual shift in format over the past year. Good stuff. In fact, though both stories are also slated for this week's issue of The Reader, you'll get some exclusive extras right here on Lazy-i -- Sheesh! This is beginning to sound like a promo for Access Hollywood.

And speaking of Hollywood, looks like our old friends Rilo Kiley have up and dumped the whole Brute/Beaute ruse outright and signed to Warner Bros., who will be rereleasing More Adventurous under its moniker later this year (See story here). And all that talk about wanting their own label -- pish. Says frontwoman Jenny Lewis about signing with Warners: "I felt like it was inevitable that this is where we were going to end up. It seemed like the time was right for us. I don't know what sort of success that will bring us. That doesn't really concern me. I just wouldn't want to regret not having taken a chance." If success "doesn't really concern her" then why sign with Warners?

Meanwhile, Bright Eyes continues to get beaten and battered around the head and neck by critics as The Faint/Bright Eyes tour rolls throughout our United States. The latest attack comes from the Chicago Sun-Times, home of Roger Ebert, which didn't like anything about last Saturday's windy city show, from Oberst's singing to the use of two drummers (read it here). "He glowers beneath his mop of raven hair, which he wears in his eyes, and acts aloof, if not petulant." God, the critic sounds like a spurned lover. How will Conor bounce back from a month's worth of media hazing?

It's not all negative in Saddle Creek land. The Good Life received a nice write up in New York Newsday, which called Album of the Year "a small masterpiece, a 12-song tale of a yearlong relationship." And then went on to describe the band's set last Friday night at The Knitting Factory (read it here) The show also got a strong preview in the last issue of Time Out New York.

But who cares about shows in New York when you've got some good ones right here in River City, like tonight's Le Beat CD release show at Sokol Underground with Mal Madrigal and Son, Ambulance? The new Le Beat is some of the most laid-back stuff I've heard coming out of Omaha, more laid-back than even the latest Neva Dinova stuff, which it most closely resembles though Le Beat has much more allegiance to the Velvets. Didn't know this show was even happening? Maybe it's because neither One Percent nor Someday Never are involved. Will anyone show up? It starts at 9 and costs $5.

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A ridiculously quiet weekend; Column 25 – May 13, 2005 –

After a strong week of shows, a suspiciously quiet weekend is ahead. In fact, a quick glance at the calendar shows that there's almost nothing worth seeing except for goon-rock acts. In fact, I can't find any shows at all for tonight -- a good time to head to The Brothers. Tomorrow night, Goodbye Sunday and 5 Story Fall are slated for the Niner, but I suspect the draw will be light as all their fans will be down at sold-out Mudvayne show (just kidding, of course). Sunday night Evil Beaver is at Duffy's. And that's it. I don't know if it's due to acquiring all the volleyball traffic from the soon-to-be-closing Ranch Bowl, but O'Leaver's -- once an oasis for interesting rock shows -- has nothing booked until May 20. What's up with that?

For those of you who missed my column this week -- which was pre-empted due to the Bright Eyes/Faint show review -- here it is in all its boring glory. It's just a mailbag column…

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Live Review: The Faint, Bright Eyes – May 12, 2005 –

Those critics in K.C. and Seattle who so boldly dissed their Bright Eyes sets didn't get it. They were blinded by The Faint's boom-boom-boom bravado, thinking that they had been invited to a dance party, which was the last thing on Conor Oberst's mind. There would be no dancing at the mighty MAC Center during his set, only upside-down crosses and lots and lots of angst. Oberst wasn't trying to redefine electro-dance with his live rendition of Digital Ash, instead he was creating some sort of new electro goth.

I could hear The Faint ripping into their set just walking from my car to the arena, pushing through crowds of smokers who were trying to get a last one in before settling down to the set. Once inside, there was plenty of space for us gen-ads to find a seat. All the fun was down on the floor, anyway, which from my vantage point looked like a seething flesh-mass of hysteria. The Faint always have known how to get people moving, and last night was no exception, even though they've never been so separated from the crowd. Big stages in big arenas mean barriers between the band and the throngs, and for the first time watching an Omaha act on stage I had flashbacks of my first arena shows way back in the '70s and '80s (Who remembers Lover Boy? Styx? Journey?). This was a real concert, from the bigger-than-life sound system to the battery of synchronized spotlights that -- when striking you head-on -- felt like they were burning a hole through your retinas.

Faint shows always have been glorified multimedia extravaganzas, but not last night. Were those the same projection screens that looked so massive inside Sokol Auditorium? Split in two and separated by a few feet in the Mac, they lost all of their punch and distracted from the live performance in a way that was never intended. If The Faint is going to continue playing arena gigs, they're gonna need screens about 8 times larger than these little projector numbers that made their videos look like overheads in a poorly lit board room, which is a shame because the videos lovingly created by Dapose and Jacob are such a big part of what they're trying to do on stage.

The band sounded as good as I've ever heard them, though I thought Todd's hollow vocals were too low and lost in a mix that, as always, was way too bass heavy. But hey, you gotta have lots of bass if you're gonna get those rumps moving, right? I would guess that the audience indeed did enjoy The Faint's set more than Bright Eyes', and why not? If you were on the floor you had no choice but to jump and bump with the sweat-hog next to you. By contrast, no one moved during Bright Eyes' set, and I'm not entirely sure they were supposed to.

At one time during BE I counted 10 people performing on stage, including a violin and cello player, trumpet, keyboards, two drummers (including Clark Baechle), bassist Joel Petersen, Mike Mogis playing two instruments at once, and Nick "Edward Sissorhands" Zinner on guitar. Despite all that, all you could really hear were the two drummers and Petersen, with Oberst chirping through the chair-rattling rumble. When the rhythm section actually gave the other performers some space, like on a couple Zinner guitar solos that burned like acid on glass, things got interesting instead of maudlin.

It's obvious that pace is the reason some critics are saying Oberst's set is a downer. The Faint's entire set is one long throbbing dance orgasm that doesn't let up until the bitter end. And their music has been around so long that everyone knows it. On the other hand, people are still getting used to Digital Ash and I doubt that a lot of the crowd recognized music. In addition, not all of the songs on that CD are very interesting -- far from it. That means waiting for the dud to get over in hopes that the next one will be something interesting.

Oberst looked bored at times, or maybe it just seemed that way from the top of the bleachers. There were songs that he could have pushed up a notch (like "Lover I Don't Have to Love"), but instead seemed to be just mailing it in. I don't expect him to do a stereotypical rockstar turn, but he could have at least looked interested in what he was doing as he wandered around stage. At one point he seemed to be riding piano stand, eventually knocking it over -- interesting, but not very rock 'n' roll. Maybe he should have lit it on fire?

In the end, Oberst's set sounded like a modern indie rendition of Goth, what with its dark video images, semi-slow pace, throbbing electro-static sound, and lots and lots of talk about death and dying and the afterlife. I could see this going over big with the Goth crowd if Conor started looking the part, which he never will because Goth is probably the furthest thing on his mind when he was recording Digital Ash. Some say the album was a cash-in a la The Postal Service. I think he was probably going for something deeper than that, but I don't know if he succeeded.

The set ended with a two-song fake encore (you know it's fake if he's prepared videos for them). Oberst's only notable comment from stage was that he never thought he could pull off such a large show in Omaha. Tsk tsk, Conor, don't you know that you're a rockstar now?

Tonight, Rilo Kiley at Sokol Auditorium with Neva Dinova and Tilly and the Wall. Tickets were still available ($12) as of this posting. If it keeps raining like this, you'll be able to take a bass boat to the show.

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Bright Eyes/The Faint tonight... – May 11, 2005 –

Well, it should be a historic show tonight... for One Percent Productions. The Faint and Bright Eyes already have played their share of arena gigs, but this will be the first "arena" concert promoted by One Percent (that I know of) and it's already a success. Unlike Sokol shows, where the dynamic duo of Marc and Jim are front-and-center, taking your dough and stamping your hand, tonight they'll probably be holed away in the MAC Center's swanky rockstar green room, dining on the veggie tray and horse-tub of cold beer, surrounded by a covey of half-naked groupie-whores, completely oblivious to the territorial pissing going on upstairs by anxious/heartbroken teens and their angry parents searching for decent seats. Barring a tornado (and after last night, I'm not kidding) I will be among the mob. The show starts promptly at 8 p.m. with Mars Black opening, which means I'll get there around 9:30, just in time for The Faint's high-NRG dance routine. And then, Bright Eyes. With the days of emotional eruptions behind him, there will be nothing left to watch but Nik Fackler's fine videoworks. Will Conor and Company bring the room down, like in KC and Seattle? We'll find out tonight...

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Vote; early returns on Bright Eyes; Dick Dale tonight… – May 10, 2005 –

Election Day is today, at least for us mid-towners. Get out there and vote, people.

With the Faint/Bright Eyes concert slated for tomorrow night in Council Bluffs, the early reviews of this experimental mixed tour are dribbling in, and they ain't been good. The problem: How do you follow an act like The Faint?

The opening dates in Kansas City got panned by the Kansas City Star, who said The Faint just plain outperformed Bright Eyes. "The Faint played an opening set that was unusually long and significantly livelier and more entertaining, visually and musically, than the headliner's." The writer then went on to assign blame. "The problem wasn't with the performers or the performance or the videos. It was the concept: 11 new songs, none with a formal groove to grab on to or a chorus to dive into, each the same weight and hue of the others, all written to emphasize the difference between digital and analog."

Ouch. Read the whole review here.

Things got better a few days later at Coachella, where the L.A. Weekly gave the performance a thumb's up. "The Omaha supergroup -- from rival high schools, actually -- played quite nicely together, despite the lack of a rumored cameo from Vote for Change tourmate Springsteen." Imagine Springsteen being backed by The Faint... That review's here.

It was back to the barbs as the bands pulled into Seattle Sunday. The Seattle Times seemed more critical of the venue than the performance. "Downer music seldom works in nightclubs, especially after several hours of opening acts, during which the audience became well lubricated. That called for dancing, not brooding." As in KC, the writer got pumped up over The Faint's set, only to be confused by the BE set. "The Faint, a lively electro/dance outfit, with fancy video accompaniment for each song, had the place dancing and applauding. Then Bright Eyes came on and dragged everything down." Yikes! Read more here.

Of course the jury is still out until Wednesday night, when you might be seeing The Faint and Bright Eyes together for the last time around these parts.

Tonight, surf guitarist Dick Dale rolls into Knickerbocker's for an 8:30 show, which gives me a reason to link to this classic Dick Dale Lazy-i interview from way back in 1998. Tickets to the 18+ show are $18, and it starts at 8:30 with El Guapotones and Fallen 77 opening.

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Nothing last weekend; The Shins tonight... – May 9, 2005 –

I spent this past weekend healing and getting stronger, away from the shows, prepping for the week to come. Actually, that said, I probably won't be at tonight's Shins concert at Sokol Auditorium, which is sold out, by the way. I like The Shins on CD; I'm not sure I'd dig their live set judging by how they've sounded on various late-night television chat shows. Still, it could be a riot, especially with New Zealand's The Brunettes opening. Their latest, the jangly organ-and-guitar driven Mars Loves Venus, is pure glowing-rainbow kitsch and probably a perfect fit for The Shins goodhearted retro clatter. Looking at the One Percent website, there appears to be only two bands on the bill (sadly, no local opener) which means, along with an 8 p.m. starting time, it could be an early night. If I can get in, I might go after all.

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Wha' happened? Fizzle tonight... – May 6, 2005 –

So I'm told my name was bantered about from on stage at last night's Tegan & Sara show. And I received a rather long letter from Sara (or someone claiming that she's Sara, you know how the Internet is), who wasn't very pleased with Column 24 (below this entry). Other tasks and health-related issues (I'm getting better, thank you) kept me from the show. Now I'm sorry I didn't go. I've been name-checked from the stage a number of times, half the time from angry bands who didn't like something I've written (Brother Ali is one example). It's generally a hoot.

So what've we got for tonight and this weekend? Well Fizzle Like a Flood will be in the house at Ted & Wally's, opening for the ubiquitous Poison Control Center. I'm told Mr. Fizzle's new band is rather scorching. $3, 11 p.m. (late, because they want the kiddies to finish dessert).

Also tonight, metal giants Bloodcow are at O'Leaver's, who just updated their sexy website. The bad news is they only have four shows booked for the month of May.

Tomorrow night it's our old friends Bad Luck Charm at The 49'r. I haven't seen Mr. Wolf and the boys in many moons. $3, 9:30.

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Column 24: Finding Tegan… and Sara, tonight – May 5, 2005 –

Below is the unabridged version of this week's column. The version printed in today's issue of The Reader was cut by about 200 words and also includes an epilogue, which I didn't feel was appropriate or justified. After the deadline passed (it's all explained below), Sheila the publicist contacted The Reader explaining that Tegan & Sara were in Montana, out of cell range, and that she was busy at Coachella. Doesn't really explain why no one replied to the numerous messages left on Tegan's cell phone four days earlier, or why the numerous e-mails sent by me and Alissa asking for a resched were ignored. Believe me, they got the messages, but who wants to deal with a newspaper and website located in Podunk U.S.A. when Coachella's going on? Also after the deadline, the record label e-mailed and offered to send The Reader T-shirts as penance for the oversight, which was acknowledged in the printed epilogue, and ignored.

Fact is, this stuff happens all the time, it's part of the deal. Regardless, I still want to see Tegan & Sara tonight at Sokol Underground if I'm able.

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Bright Eyes through Nik Fackler's lens; Bowie tribute, Kyle Harvey and friends tonight – May 4, 2005 –

Just placed online, an interview with Omaha filmmaker Nik Fackler (read it here). Nik talks about how he created the videos used to support Bright Eyes on the Digital Ash in a Digital Urn tour, from how he first got involved to the challenges of visually interpreting Oberst's music without interpreting its meaning directly from the songs' lyrics. In addition, you get a glimpse of stills from videos used for seven songs (including the still used on the Interviews page). It's eye-popping stuff. At 20 years old Fackler already has garnered a reputation for creating stirring videos and films. Is he the next Spike Jonze? Judge for yourself by going to the Bright Eyes/Faint concert in ol' CB May 11 and going to Fackler's website where you can see his music videos and short films.

A couple notable gigs tonight: The 49'r is hosting a David Bowie tribute that will include some interesting guest performers from the local scene, not the least of which is a sometimes-review-contributor to Lazy-i (though it's been awhile). Since the show also is the birthday party for local celebrity/man-about-town/music-gadfly-for-the City Weekly/all-around-nice-guy MarQ Manner, the place with be packed with people dressed like '70s-era white pimps (it's "glam night" after all). Who says Halloween comes only once a year?

Meanwhile, Kyle Harvey, Fine Fine Automobiles (Landon Hedges), Kisses for Kicks (Reagan Roeder), and Nick Freitus and the Headgates will be performing down the street at O'Leaver's.

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Bright Eyes on Leno – May 3, 2005 –

I've never liked Leno, not from day one. Letterman always seemed like the more genuine personality, certainly funnier. Not anymore. Letterman comes off like a coke-addled freak, unable to carry a natural-sounding conversation with anyone without interrupting. He's jittery like an insect or a fly cleaning itself. Leno on the other hand, is your typical good-ol' boy just trying his hardest to make all the execs happy, with a range of humor that's just slightly above Hee Haw. He's corny and phony, but at least he sounds like he listens when people talk to him.

But I digress. It was almost a year ago that Bright Eyes was on Letterman, and the appearance represented a significant achievement for an Omaha boy done good. Even though he's living in NYC a good part of the year, Oberst keeps his Omaha roots firmly in tact. Letterman's one thing, but The Tonight Show's made careers -- a program that caters to family-loving white bread Bush voters throughout the iron, bible and corn belts. I'm sure Leno's bookers thought Bright Eyes would be edgy, but add to that him singing "When the President Talks to God," well, you got yourself a controversy.

Leno must have listened at the rehearsal, because after his monologue and during the guest roundup, he turned to his bandleader and said: "You hear the song he's doing Kevin? I haven't heard a protest song like this… you know I grew up in the sixties. I used to do a Jesse Winchester, a Jerry Jeff Walker, and Kris Kristofferson doing these anti-Nixon… This is a song that's right up there. This will galvanize the audience. You'll go one way or the other but you will have an opinion when he's done."

I TiVo'd the show, so I fast-forwarded past Wanda Sykes and some fat guy - no idea who he was. Then at the tail end of the show, out trots Conor dressed head to toe in C&W performance gear, complete with a red rhinestone-trimmed western shirt and matching pants, black scarf and black cowboy hat. Breaking the look, of course, was Conor's trademark swoop cut, sticking out like black straw from beneath the brim. During the introduction, Leno said Conor's been compared to a young Dylan and a young Springsteen, and then held up vinyl copies of Wide Awake and Digital Ash - I'm sure there were kids watching who wondered how you play those gigantic CDs.

For what it's worth, this is the best Conor has sounded on TV. With no backing band and just his guitar, he spat out the lyrics like he was daring someone at the network to pull the plug. They didn't, though they blanked out the b-word in the last verse. Then Conor ended the song by saying "Fil mish-mish, fil mish-mish." No idea what it means, though a blog found by a Google search says that it's an Arabic euphemism for "don't hold your breath." Leno looked agitated when he strolled out and said, "Good job," but who knows. He may have just felt rushed, having to thank all of his guests in about 5 seconds. An interesting performance, and I suppose daring for Leno to air it. I doubt Letterman would have done it. Yet another milestone for Bright Eyes...

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Down and out in river city; Supersystem/El Guapo tonight … – May 2, 2005 –

I spent my weekend sleeping and blowing my nose having succumbed to a vicious spring cold. In fact, the malady still has me in its grip and will keep me from attending tonight's Supersystem, Thunderbirds are Now!, Coast of Nebraska show at O'Leaver's. Supersystem, btw, used to be the better-named El Guapo. Said I of the band's Oct. 22 show at Sokol Underground when they opened for Q & Not U: "I was somewhat surprised to hear a couple bands that were sort-of, kind-of dance acts. El Guapo more so. I joked that I blamed The Rapture for their sound, but that's probably not fair. The four-piece mixed NYC punk rock with dance beats and programming. I was initially confused by the drum parts -- I thought it was just a really clear, crisp snare. But in fact, they were using a combination of live drums and pre-recorded beats, which worked most of the time. I liked it, but when it comes to this sort of progressive punk-dance stuff, I prefer the live version of Radio 4." Though derivative, certainly worth the $5 cover. Wish I could go.

Tomorrow I'll catch up on all the Internet headlines that have been piling up in my inbox. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some phlegm to attend to...

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